64 pinecones @64pinecones@freedom.horse

finally, the product we've all been waiting for!

Do not “federate” with me. disgusting.

me explaining sex to my kids: *slaps two steaks together over and over again*

pressing my bare ass up to a chainlink fence to create amusing squares

deviled.egg, the midwestern instance

I've been trying to be more mindful lately. Mindfully brushing my teeth, mindfully going for a nature walk, mindfully stealing yogurts from the work fridge, etc.

I'm having a good time being online right now.

Remember those things at the fair where you throw an oversized baseball at a button and it makes the person in the water tank fall into the water and drown?

If I get really salty in a battle with a wild pokemon, I use cut as my final move before I kill them.

Wanna feel old? People were born in 1989.

If you made it to 30 years old, bravo, here's your medal for making this this long... nobody gives a shit!

I don't get Christ the Redeemer. What's so great about a big Jesus?

(scoffing) i could defeat the rubik's cube easily. it has no attacks. it's weak

sorry i can't hear you over my massive erection

pulling out my pubes with tweezers saying "he loves me"/"he loves me not" in turn