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if you're into pinecone fanfiction does that make you a firry

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Strap in, boys. Cuz where we're going, it's illegal to not wear seatbelts

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This account is now devoted to Angry Birds fan theories.

"I am a Man of Constant Sorrow" is the first emo song

sometimes I just want to *cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise**cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise**cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise* *cash register noise**cash register noise* and be banned from the supermarket for opening all the tills

Here's the thing about Santa: I think he has elves working for him.

*sitting my grandchild on my knee* let me tell you about the great Meme Wars of 2017

When I was a kid, getting a zit was basically the worst thing ever. Nowadays, I look at my face in the mirror and realize there's still spaghetti sauce from two days ago

This toot was spomsored by Bem & Jerry's™️

Hockey but instead of a puck it's one of those Bem & Jerry's sliders and the goalie is allowed to catch it in his mouth

I've been practicing all the bad swears today in the mirror.

the FCC won't let us show Santa's bulge on live TV

It's Tuesday morning, and I'm making Ringo jokes. I am ready for talk radio

Seriously though I would hate to be Ringo. Imagine being an adequate musician hanging out with three geniuses. It'd be like if one of the Ninja Turtles was a regular guy with no fighting skills, but they just humored him and called him a Ninja Turtle

It's weird that Ringo doesn't have any songs on Rubber Soul or the White Album, but he just doesn't. They do not exist

Which is the greatest Ringo song – Octopus's Garden, or It Don't Come Easy? He only wrote two songs

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freedom.horse

This is a place to go when you want FREEDOM.

Get things off your chest. Share your secrets with strangers. Scream into the abyss. Tell filthy jokes. Make a joke at all. <3