64 pinecones @64pinecones@freedom.horse

I'm am Ra's al Glute
The butt of the demon

i like peanut butter that wasn't crunchy before i put my finger nails in it

Mom dad I'm tumblr

isn't chlamydia a pokemon

the Internet has affected us in a big way

recently I saw someone actually imitate the 👌 emoji using their hand

“It’s a funeral”, they said

“Wear black”, they said

“Who’s the idiot dressed as Zorro?”, they said

Just because I play The Exorcist as soothing background noise to fall asleep doesn’t mean I’m “scary”

which one of you fucks was it who tooted about how the only genres of music they liked were donkey kong rap and donkey kong country because I can't stop thinking about that tweet

I write all my toots with one hand voluntarily behind my back, so as to intimidate my rivals with my confidence

Pride is almost over, next month is Greed

Instagram is where I tell millennials to buy my mouthwash, or else they'll die alone

My life is at the point now where I don’t even bother to check for cat hairs before eating potato chips off the floor.

My favorite classic American dish is spaghetti and mashed potatoes mixed together in a blender and then you eat it with your hands.

oh right, CW on my last toot for astronauts jacking

(on the moon)

Neil: What if we Jacked?
Buzz: Please don't, Neil... not here...
Neil: What are they gonna do, call the fuckin cops?
Buzz: Ok ok, let's just get it over with quick
Neil: Roger that

*smiles wetly*

a tired pigeon lands on your window sill. he lights two cigarettes in his beak and offers one to you - -
“you’re not going to like this...