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if you're into pinecone fanfiction does that make you a firry

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Strap in, boys. Cuz where we're going, it's illegal to not wear seatbelts

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This account is now devoted to Angry Birds fan theories.

Pretty wild that I never turn off any of my electronics. I get to sleep, they don't.

Voices I would like in my GPS navigation:

- H Jon Benjamin
- Tommy Wiseau
- BMO from Adventure Time

if you see a mole while playing golf, you have to try your shot all over again. this is called a mole-again

Mario describes himself on a dating site: "I'm really not that fat"

movie where a guy wakes up in a world where Andy Warhol never existed, so he starts taking pictures of soup cans and passes it off as his own

this account is now dedicated to dunking on boomer albums. next I'll tell you Layla is too long, and my millennial brain can't comprehend songs where the chorus doesn't come in within 20 seconds

Sgt Pepper tracklist

- paul: wheee it's a concept album
- ringo is billy shears for some reason
- john conveniently forgets it's a concept album, sings about drugs
- whuh-oh, george found a sitar

the real reason why we dont have a lot of ice types is because nintendo are cowards. also because of global warming

to all the haters who say my posts are poorly thought out:

laughing at the idea of like a Doctorate in Business. I'm a Doctor of Business. A Business Doctor, at your service.

did you know Pixar pitched the sequel to Car by going into Walt Disney's office, writing "car" on the whiteboard, and then adding a dollar sign so it said car$

the film was immediately greenlit for $18 and the rest is history

couldn't think of what rollerskates were called and my brain kept telling me "foot skateboards"

do the mario? no thanks, im in a committed relationship

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This is a place to go when you want FREEDOM. Get things off your chest. Share your secrets with strangers. Scream into the abyss. Tell filthy jokes. Make a joke at all. <3