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if you're into pinecone fanfiction does that make you a firry

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Strap in, boys. Cuz where we're going, it's illegal to not wear seatbelts

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This account is now devoted to Angry Birds fan theories.

Kicked out of the Oscars for finally answering Clooney's allegedly "rhetorical" question, "Nespresso, what else?", repeatedly and loudly to his face

I joke around a lot on here and tell a lot of jokes about myself that I lie to make work. So in case anyone was wondering who I really am: I'm a 55 year old woman with a large, prominent Jack Skellington tattoo. That's the real me and if you don't like it you can unfollow me

Billy Joel: you know i run with a dangerous crowd
Me, trying not to crack up: i did not know that billy joel

15 toots today and one boost. Absolutely fucking killing it

if you're wondering what song is stuck in my head, I just realized that the first three notes of the Simpsons theme song are the same as "Maria" from west side story:

The Simpsons
I've just watched a show named "The Simpsons"

Smokey the Bear needs to do something about all these forest fires

Man goes to pagliacci. Says he's pagliacci. Says life seems harsh and pagliacci. Says he feels all alone in a pagliacci where what lies ahead is vague and pagliacci. Doctor says, "pagliacci." Man bursts into pagliacci, and dies (of pagliacci).

avoiding surveillance by installing pleroma on a toaster and living in a small van

from the inventors of truck nuts: truck pussy

Hmm it appears that I deleted this from my .social for some reason so I’m going to post it here for posterity.

Roses is me
Hi my name is rose
Rose rose rose
Fuck yeah I'm Rose

Wanna feel old?
Remember Super Mario Bros 3? It’s now over 5 years old!

Roses are red
My life is a sham
“Go see Pagliacci”
But Doctor, I am

i'm gonna shave my pubes into a crew cut anyone need the hairs for a recipe?

horny waiter: we don't have cock but is penis ok?

Nurse Joy is a genius, she invented a machine that brings animals back from the dead.

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This is a place to go when you want FREEDOM.

Get things off your chest. Share your secrets with strangers. Scream into the abyss. Tell filthy jokes. Make a joke at all. <3