64 pinecones @64pinecones@freedom.horse

They get my vote

if i were geoffrey chaucer i would have written in words that people 600 years later could read

ground control to major tom

xi jinping is soft blocking my dick pics with the great firewall of china

i’m a wild pig!! 🐷

One time I was walking around Seattle and saw a mattress on the sidewalk. The next day I walked past it again and this time somebody had set it on fire and it’d been burned to a crisp. But Seattle always rains so I wonder if the rain put it out. Or maybe a fireman. Or helpful citizen with a bucket.

the dark knight is titanic for Dudes

*log on*

[naked sonic]

*log off*

how do you all pay elflord your monthly subscription? i got banned from paypal for posting too many feet pics online

This is how it is #onhere

@ElfLord
*Wearing construction worker hat* 👷‍♂️

Alright fellas, you heard the lady! Drop them in!

*Truck filled with dick jokes dumps all of them in ElfLord's yard* 🚛

What is all this about howling and castles and movement

having two legs, one on each side of my body, allows me to walk in 3D

off to my right I see five mounted cowboys; shouting and shooting I can't let them catch me

My bot just said, "Wario gives better spankings to Luigi than Mario."

THIS is MY profile, if you're OFFENDED by something i SAY, i am SORRY and will DELETE it IMMEDIATELY

Currently playing the slot machine we call social media for a sweet sweet hit of dopamine.

Which one is worse right now?