64 pinecones @64pinecones@freedom.horse

if you're into pinecone fanfiction does that make you a firry

Strap in, boys. Cuz where we're going, it's illegal to not wear seatbelts

This account is now devoted to Angry Birds fan theories.

everything I compulsively click on the internet, you can follow with "Next! On Sick Sad World"

*Granola Hippie Dad leans out of the kitchen*

Hon, we're all out of coconut aminos! I'm going to have to use soy sauce instead!

*theme music plays*

*Granola Hippie Dad sits down his son for a heart-to-heart*

GHD: it's okay that you ate a burger to impress the older boys. But you should really come home and eat your nutritional yeast

My TV sitcom character would be: Granola Hippie Dad

Pulling a tendon as a kid: give it a few days, you'll be running around in the dirt again or whatever kids do

Pulling a tendon as an adult: oh god this leg is never going to feel the same again huh

I want to strike fear into other males with my lustrous silver hairy back. I'm willing to go around shirtless to do so (bonus: my beer belly is quite intimidating)

As I get older, I notice the gray in my beard, but when do I get the silver stripe down my back?

Exercise is just RPG grinding in real life

Gremlins is a great movie, I love all those little yellow guys speaking their weird language

Me, a guy without kids: wow Frozen is a fun musical with great songs, I should buy the soundtrack

A parent: my kid has been playing that song on repeat since 2013, please kill me