Pinned toot

if you're into pinecone fanfiction does that make you a firry

Pinned toot

Strap in, boys. Cuz where we're going, it's illegal to not wear seatbelts

Pinned toot

This account is now devoted to Angry Birds fan theories.

Fist of the North Star is a touching movie about how you break the news to someone that they are already dead

*me in a weed store* Yes, I would like one pot please

if anime isn't real then how come my nose is always bleeding

Kid, like 5 years old in shopping cart to her dad: "DAD. Dad guess what?"

Dad: "What?"

Kid: "Chicken butt."

Me, to myself, standing behind them in the checkout line: "Classic."

i open up my wallet and a little moth comes out

i may not have money but i am rich in winged friends

i have high standards for a car. the ability to go is a must. streets, roads, highways if necessary. accelerate. decelerate. the ability to not go, to park, to turn off the engine. fitting into parking spaces. these are all an absolute must.

What is the cost of building a roller coaster on the moon? Sir, the real question is the cost of *not* building it

I just laughed at my cat for wanting to eat my donut. "Cats don't eat donuts in the wild," I said. But then I thought about it. Humans don't eat donuts in the wild either. They eat trail mix.

the april fool.. yes, i knew him. long ago, in a different life. he went by a different name then -- before the march madness took him..

Why do I have to go to a dentist to look at my mouth-bones. I don't have to do this for any of my other bones

getting cross faded on some milk and cookies

I'm just mad about saffron. That shit's way too expensive

you can pick your battles, you can pick your poison, but you can't pick your friend's nose

don't want to have kids because I remember what a little shit I was when I was a kid

Show more
freedom.horse

This is a place to go when you want FREEDOM.

Get things off your chest. Share your secrets with strangers. Scream into the abyss. Tell filthy jokes. Make a joke at all. <3