Pinned toot

if i was bernieโ€™s campaign manager and, granted, iโ€™m not, i would make his slogan for 2020 be, โ€œits bernie, bitchโ€

are u you taking a piss mate?
are you having a laugh

If Jesus joined Masto, he would forgive us.

Currently listening to "Uptown Girl" and building a giant staircase in the nether.

@jordyd is acting like I'm bad at math just because I said z = an orange. He said that's "not a number" and to "stop calling".

bots are good but they don't fucking KISS.

Today I made an herb garden and planted a bunch of flowers in the dark at night.

You know who's a good friend? @jordyd. He burned my house down to the ground so I could collect all the insurance money. What a pal.

@sireebob Sireebob I miss you! I hope you are well and petting a lot of nice dogs.

If I was DJing a party I would probably just put on #Empath in its entirety and then stare down angrily and shush anyone trying to make noise over it

STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP IM DYING STOP IM TURNING INTO DUST

*gets some nunchucks but when I use them I keep whipping my own ass over and over again*

My hair is huge today. It's beautiful. It's like the first time I heard The Beach Boys later stuff.

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freedom.horse

This is a place to go when you want FREEDOM.

Get things off your chest. Share your secrets with strangers. Scream into the abyss. Tell filthy jokes. Make a joke at all. <3