ElfLord @ElfLord@freedom.horse

In case you missed it...

I interviewed the elusive @snakeboy, where I grilled him on his secret life. He's never doing another interview again (because I threatened him), so be sure to check it out:

https://youtu.be/FhOeVIDFyy8

ingredients:
1 whole raw chicken
saffron threads
water
salt and pepper

1. Boil 14 cups water in a large pot.
2. Place whole raw chicken in pot of water (14 cups).
3. Add saffron threads, more water, and salt and pepper. Actually, you were supposed to put the salt and pepper on the chicken BEFORE you put it in the water. Idiot. This was a test.
4. Boil chicken for 24 hours.
5. Drain whole chicken in a mesh wire strainer.
6. Place chicken on 1/4th sheet of a paper towel on a plate.
7. Dump chicken in the kitchen trash. That's right. You ruined a perfectly good chicken. You bastard.

This is my real dad.

The first message is from me and the second is my dad

I usually don't get involved in politics on here but today I've decided to put my foot down. I think we should think of the children and stop this nonsense in America.

"I think healthcare should be fixed and also onions should be genetically modified so they don't make me cry anymore." - ElfLord for President 2020

I think we should fix America so things make sense.

My real first name is Shannon. Weren't expecting that, were you?

If I recorded a hit song, I'd be sure to say my own name in it at least 300 times so everybody knows.

Do you think cats are ever like, "Ugh. Why did I evolve to live with this gross monkey??"

A chimp kisses a tiger. That's the symbiotic relationship humans have with domestic house cats.