ElfLord @ElfLord@freedom.horse

In case you missed it...

I interviewed the elusive @snakeboy, where I grilled him on his secret life. He's never doing another interview again (because I threatened him), so be sure to check it out:

https://youtu.be/FhOeVIDFyy8

ingredients:
1 whole raw chicken
saffron threads
water
salt and pepper

1. Boil 14 cups water in a large pot.
2. Place whole raw chicken in pot of water (14 cups).
3. Add saffron threads, more water, and salt and pepper. Actually, you were supposed to put the salt and pepper on the chicken BEFORE you put it in the water. Idiot. This was a test.
4. Boil chicken for 24 hours.
5. Drain whole chicken in a mesh wire strainer.
6. Place chicken on 1/4th sheet of a paper towel on a plate.
7. Dump chicken in the kitchen trash. That's right. You ruined a perfectly good chicken. You bastard.

This is my real dad.

@snakeboy hey ya old bastard! Just wanted to see how you're doing. Swimming in hot babes, I assume.

If you find a dick on the ground, be sure to report it to the local police department lost and found. After all, it's somebody's dick.

It's time to get high on pot and say things on the internet permanently that I'll regret later.

The party I just got back from, they had a s'mores fire pit and one of those wedding tents just hanging out in their yard and little sandwiches with the crusts cut off and smoked salmon and cucumber inside. I felt out of place. Like they must have thought, "Who is this animal someone invited??"

Just got back from a party at these rich people's houses and holy shit I felt like I was afraid to touch anything or I would break it or spill and it would be super embarrassing. Also I showed up looking slightly greasy.

Whenever I'm high I get freaked out by the dishwasher.