ElfLord @ElfLord@freedom.horse

In case you missed it...

I interviewed the elusive @snakeboy, where I grilled him on his secret life. He's never doing another interview again (because I threatened him), so be sure to check it out:

https://youtu.be/FhOeVIDFyy8

ingredients:
1 whole raw chicken
saffron threads
water
salt and pepper

1. Boil 14 cups water in a large pot.
2. Place whole raw chicken in pot of water (14 cups).
3. Add saffron threads, more water, and salt and pepper. Actually, you were supposed to put the salt and pepper on the chicken BEFORE you put it in the water. Idiot. This was a test.
4. Boil chicken for 24 hours.
5. Drain whole chicken in a mesh wire strainer.
6. Place chicken on 1/4th sheet of a paper towel on a plate.
7. Dump chicken in the kitchen trash. That's right. You ruined a perfectly good chicken. You bastard.

This is my real dad.

I thought, before I went on a road trip to the South, that I had experienced the REAL country before. But when I got there, I saw signs in every restaurant front window that said, "No guns please." As in, don't bring your gun into our place of business, please. Which, I guess you should be polite about, as the person you're directing this message to has a gun.

Currently being kicked out of this Arby's for refusing to put on shoes and a shirt.

Today I ran around for a while on a treadmill like somebody's gotdamn hamster.

Currently leveling a 128x128 block area of land so I can make a battle arena and fight bad guys.

My biggest problem with weed is that it feels GREAT.

Is it cool to like Elton John? I'm 32 years old and really concerned about looking cool.

Currently listening to Elton John and building an ice road through the nether.

who you think taught me to smoke trees?

Pouring a little soymilk out for my homies.

Mastodon is crumbling and many blame the fact that @Gargron got his head stuck in a staircase railing's bars again so we had to butter his head up so he could get it out of there.

I should do big Texas hair and take a selfie and post it on here. I love big hair. Big hair, don't care.

I love that there's #Brands on everything I own.