ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴 @ElfLord@freedom.horse
Pinned toot
Excerpt from my new short story, Pickle Cop:
The national food in the UK is gruel.
I forget my name is ElfLord all the time and then I'm really surprised when someone calls me ElfLord.
Ah yes, I am familiar. Grass... Mary Jane... A left handed cigarette... Chip... The devil's lettuce...
I've gotten really good at skimming and skipping past the rude replies. Like a super power but shittier.
*throws a ball really hard to you but I have poor muscle tone so it just kind of drops and dribbles along the floor*
My grandma used to collect clown dolls and had them all over her room. Can you imagine trying to get to sleep at night in that room? My grandpa must have been scared out of his mind every night.
Let's go steady and makeout at my house.
*rolls in poison ivy*
ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴
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@rye Are you going to be a law...
ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴
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@pagrus What made them unfunny? Did they just talk about tea and honey in tea?
ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴
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I wish there was a celebrity and people get annoyed when you drink rose wine in private? Still something bad?
ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴
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@SuperAlbino Or a power user too. We need more Christmas songs about hell.
ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴
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@hrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnngggggggg It's fucken true!!! I wish I had like a horse.
ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴
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ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴
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very illegal toot Show more
Sorry about that last toot. I don't know what's wrong with me.
If steve jobs and thomas edison knew each other they would start crying. They would be crying and hold each other close and cry.
ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴
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sorry for all the ruckus upstairs i fell down the stairs landing on my hog 15 consecutive times in a row, it was a very humorous occasion but i do need to go to the hospital immediately
ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴
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mr email
e me a mail
make the attachment
a pic of a snail
