1.) Give a big belch. That way, they know you're one of the guys.
2.) Talk about boobs. I don't know what specifically about them. But just say the word, "boobs" at some point in the conversation.
3.) Grab a cold one (slang for "beer"). Be sure to call it, "a cold one" and not, "beer." Men can see right through that.
4.) Do NOT say I love you right away. Sprinkle rose petals and light some candles first.

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** · Jul 20, 2018, 02:34

ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴 boosted

**Cervine Bed Occupant** @masklayer@slime.global · Jul 20, 2018, 02:34

If you think about it, no one can truly fuck

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** · Jul 19, 2018, 16:29

ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴 boosted

**squirt bacharach** @toilettrouble · Jul 19, 2018, 16:29

we've Show more

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** · Jul 19, 2018, 17:41

ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴 boosted

**squirt bacharach** @toilettrouble · Jul 19, 2018, 17:41

motion to change "Federated" to "Fedora Ted" all in favor say "aye"

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** · Jul 19, 2018, 21:06

ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴 boosted

**squirt bacharach** @toilettrouble · Jul 19, 2018, 21:06

i want to end all suffering and i also want a decent philly cheesesteak

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** · Jul 19, 2018, 21:11

ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴 boosted

**squirt bacharach** @toilettrouble · Jul 19, 2018, 21:11

someone in my office just yelled "yay for commerce!" and my soul is holding on by a thin thread

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** · Jul 19, 2018, 22:16

ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴 boosted

**squirt bacharach** @toilettrouble · Jul 19, 2018, 22:16

everybody give yourself a hand today, you're doing great so far

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** · Jul 20, 2018, 01:38

ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴 boosted

**JumpedUpChuck** @JumpedUpChuck · Jul 20, 2018, 01:38

@ElfLord Make your G.I. Joe's kiss.

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** · Jul 20, 2018, 01:02

ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴 boosted

**boutique (idiot aspect)** @007@mastodon.xyz · Jul 20, 2018, 01:02

dumb Show more

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** · Jul 20, 2018, 01:23

ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴 boosted

**jn't ⏣** @nonphatic@cybre.space · Jul 20, 2018, 01:23

Cuddlr: Tinder, but specifically for cuddles

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** @ElfLord · Jul 20, 2018, 01:33

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** @ElfLord · Jul 20, 2018, 01:33

Make your Barbies kiss.

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** @ElfLord · Jul 20, 2018, 01:17

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** @ElfLord · Jul 20, 2018, 01:17

From now on this is a golf news account.

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** @ElfLord · Jul 20, 2018, 00:10

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** @ElfLord · Jul 20, 2018, 00:10

lol I said peanut button

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** @ElfLord · Jul 19, 2018, 16:29

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** @ElfLord · Jul 19, 2018, 16:29

Does anyone else get phantom smells sometimes that last a long time like days? I can't even place the smells. Well one time I did. It was burned toast with peanut button melted on it.

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** @ElfLord · Jul 19, 2018, 16:27

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** @ElfLord · Jul 19, 2018, 16:27

"Me britches! Me britches!" - some British person somewhere probably

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** · Jul 19, 2018, 04:41

ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴 boosted

**squirt bacharach** @toilettrouble · Jul 19, 2018, 04:41

@ElfLord @cat_sound is wiped out and i'm eating beans ! i'll get on when i'm done

eating #beans

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** @ElfLord · Jul 19, 2018, 04:11

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** @ElfLord · Jul 19, 2018, 04:11

@cat_sound @toilettrouble Get ur asses on minecrafts now!!!!!! I'm scared!

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** · Jul 19, 2018, 02:51

ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴 boosted

**♡ rye ♡** @rye@niu.moe · Jul 19, 2018, 02:51

romantic date idea!!!!

feed ur partner paint

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** @ElfLord · Jul 19, 2018, 02:50

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** @ElfLord · Jul 19, 2018, 02:50

I am definitely not ruining my career by tooting “if you’re happy and you know it crap your pants.”

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** · Jul 19, 2018, 02:46

ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴 boosted

**♡ rye ♡** @rye@niu.moe · Jul 19, 2018, 02:46

getting my own show on the travel channel next year where i visit different home depots and taste their paint

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** @ElfLord · Jul 19, 2018, 02:47

**ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴** @ElfLord · Jul 19, 2018, 02:47

Just noticed everyone on this boat is drunk off their ass.

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