ElfLord 🇺🇸 .🐴 @ElfLord@freedom.horse

I just wrote a song. It goes:

🎶 You're a MonkeyDaddy,
You're a MonkeyDaddy,
You're a MonkeyFather,
Look at your hands,
You have Monkey hands.

You're a pretty pony,
You're a pretty pony,
and I want to pet your mane.🎶

"The Star Trek crews are always horny." - @jordyd just now

*slides note to you with a bunch of numbers on it*
me: *flirting* Meet me at these coordinates.

We live in the future where we have to block robots from following us.

Story time. Let's share some stories with each other. Let's do share and tell or whatever.

I blacked out and pinned a pin to pinterest.

Sorry I stared in your eyes and licked myself in front of you.

*on a first date*
me: wanna split a gallon of milk right now?

You can get ripped as hell from laughing.

Played Stellaris for the first time. Was an alien. Watched Star Trek "Voyager". Went to the grocery store and got 3 eggplants, which I was carded for.

"Think of the biggest number you can think of. Now imagine bigger. It's bigger than that. Probably." - @jordyd as a professor

*on a first date*
date: so where are you from?
me: I spawned in the nether.

Fav this if you're currently taking hits of pot or doing beers.