@jordyd How's Massachusetts doing? You still got uhhh, Colonial buildings there?

card game 

ElfLord boosted

(jumping out of the bed at 3 in the morning, shaking) does 'alf' stand for 'alien that likes to fuck'

@ebeth I wish confetti would come out of the sky for me every time I hugged a bro

ElfLord boosted

It started out with a fish
How did it end up like this?
It was only a fish, it was only a fish

ElfLord boosted

which one was the patron saint of smoking resin? finished catholic school over a decade ago, can't remember

ElfLord boosted

when will mastodon get its first messy, public divorce?

ElfLord boosted
ElfLord boosted

edibles are for children, by the time you're about 10 or 11 you should really be smoking weed

ElfLord boosted
ElfLord boosted

IT guys love to call computers โ€œmachinesโ€

@ebeth We need more hugging in professional sports.

ElfLord boosted

@snakeboy Imagine being in a job interview taking a big bong rip and having a neck tattoo of charmander.

ElfLord boosted

Me and Jesus fucking went for it in that temple, angry as fuck, we absolutely wrecked the place. Still don't know why they wrote me out of that scene

I don't have a problem with wrestling. If wrestlers want to hug each other tightly and put stress on their joints, that's their business.

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