ElfLord boosted
ElfLord boosted

*fixes wedgie, then turns and smiles at camera. leaps up in the air, gracefully doing 6 backflips before fucking up the landing and proceeding to impale myself on an unfortunately placed upright chopstick*

Currently listening to Billy Joel while getting my ass handed to me by Mespirit in pokemon diamond.

ElfLord boosted

Me: goes do something else while minecraft is open
My cat in minecraft: mow. mrrow. meo. mao. mraow. mew. mrrr.

I'm still slogging through the grind that is pokemon diamond. My party is pretty good?

Einstein was right. The universe is pog.

Kinda messed up there's a frozen, dead zubat left somewhere in Mt. Coronet that got fucked up in a battle with me.

I was born in the wrong time. I was meant to be a disco queen.

You might think my favorite music decade is the 60s, but you'd be wrong. It's the 70s.

ElfLord boosted

"Hotel California" is too long. We get it, you're stuck in a hotel. Who hasn't been?

Someday I want to experience the raw energy of the crowd at a professional wrestling show.

"Hotel California" is about 5 minutes too long.

I feel like a bag of molasses on a Sunday morning.

Follow for more metaphors that don't quite work.

I love scanning the timeline for a really funny person. It's like digging for treasure and sometimes you find a real gem.

I want to give away my writing for free to people and just be like, come on, just read it and share it with someone else if you liked it, because that's the most important thing to me.

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