If health insurance had their way we'd all get medical care in the form of a shot of whiskey and biting down on some bark while a "doctor" resets our broken arm.

drug 

ElfLord boosted
ElfLord boosted

can't believe i was charged a $25 copay to read this sign. :blobnotlike:

ElfLord boosted

foodies 

@jordyd Help When do you know it's time to take a break, or you're just being lazy? Where's the line

ElfLord boosted

@pizza *homer simpson backing into the bushes gif*

ElfLord boosted

@StaleWhiteBread @kingu_platypus_gidora Oh definitely I'd try to get 420 and if someone beat my score you bet I'd go for one THOUSAND.

Even if he was the last man on earth, I would not fuck Michael Phelps. It would be like Ginger fucking Gilligan.

ElfLord boosted

If I were playing Minecraft PvP with a baby, I would simply grief its base and steal all its diamonds.

ElfLord boosted
ElfLord boosted

I'd vote for Beyonce if she ran for president. I don't even care what her policies are. She just seems like a nice lady. We need, but probably don't deserve, a nice lady for president.

Look. Everyone gets to make fun of Michael Phelps because he's an athlete and an American Hero. 🥇 🎖️

Quick, somebody ask Michael Phelps what he thinks of climate change and healthcare in America. I'm sure he has a polished answer.

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