"The worst shitposter on Mastodon" - @nick
to the tune of 'band on the run' Show more
🎵 dog with a gun 🎵
Thinking about a longsword, but glowing red hot. Awesome.
Currently wanking it off.
the greatest picture
This is a metaphor, probably.
How do you avoid a tidal wave when you're a rock?
rye you fucking goon ill be ur gf
*slams my salad bowl down on the counter* SALAD ME UP
you wanna know my favourite food?
it's food. thank you.
Can't wait until I get a hundred more boosts so I can trade them in for a slide whistle and a keyring
Working a dead end minimum wage job sucks shit but then sometimes I remember I don't have to do homework anymore and that part rules at least
*favs a bot toot*
When Blink 182's Matt Skiba sang "I'M FEELING THIS"
I felt that
When I get out of bed I take one big bong rip and I hold it in, I keep holding it and only exhale before I go to bed, it gives me a nice buzz throughout the day
eminem shove his Fist at karl marx 👊. Marx flinches but eminem just laughs
I bet I'd be fucking sick at using nunchuks if I ever got any
'work smarter not harder' i say as i ram my dick in the garbage disposal
[points at a tree] is that linux
boosted by eugen: 3 times followed by eugen: 0 timesshit myself at Target: one hundred times
Getting to the pearly gates and Saint Peter begins to read out all my posts that didn't get any faves or boosts
This is a place to go when you want FREEDOM.
Get things off your chest. Share your secrets with strangers. Scream into the abyss. Tell filthy jokes. Make a joke at all. <3