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ElfLord boosted
ElfLord boosted

@ElfLord have you tried typing 58008 on a calculator and then reading it upside down? That's always good for a low-tech laugh if you're bored

Humans have been feeding cats lots of weird shit for as long as this symbiotic relationship has been going on in history. A little salami is fine to feed to a cat.

You ever read somebody else’s timeline and think, “None of these posts make any sense to me,” but they must to other people or they would have no followers? What the fuck is that?

“Hi Mastodon”, is how I would say Dear diary for 2019.

ElfLord boosted

@ElfLord mostly moving an abacus piece across for a fun fps style thrill

Thankful for my cats still being alive another thanksgiving so I can give them a little turkey.

Hi I’ve been without a computer for a while because it’s getting repaired, and I will continue to not have it for like a couple more days, and I forget I even have a phone, so I’m mostly only playing minecraft on the switch as my tech drug fix.

ElfLord boosted
ElfLord boosted

Flight attendant: Is there a doctor onboard?

Dad: •nudging me• that should've been you

Me: Not now Dad

Dad: The one dying, I mean

ElfLord boosted

I'm in the basement, I'm huffing mold spores. come on down, there's enough for everyone

ElfLord boosted

my main quality is being able to remember lots of other people's jokes and then pass them off as my own in conversation to make me look smart and funny

ElfLord boosted

take these pills, you'll never have any emotion again but you'll still make money for somebody else and that's good for reasons

food poll 

ElfLord boosted
ElfLord boosted

I think Ice Cream Trucks should sell hot soup during the colder months

ElfLord boosted
ElfLord boosted

Boost this and I will do absolutely nothing in response

ElfLord boosted

every time I come on here I have the overwhelming urge to just post “shit my ass” and well...

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freedom.horse

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