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I should do big Texas hair and take a selfie and post it on here. I love big hair. Big hair, don't care.

ElfLord boosted

calling out customer's names and clapping when they come to collect their to-go coffee

ElfLord boosted

*slams face into a piano* that's JAZZ babey

ElfLord boosted
ElfLord boosted

(fighting the first person to wear a helmet) ah damn, he's got some kind of... metal hat

ElfLord boosted

not to be dramatic but i would die for this boy

ElfLord boosted

🎶 i keep my hole nice and fresh
i keep my hole nice and fresh 🎶

Wow, I just looked at my last poll and me putting milk in the ice cube trays at a wild party got 0%. People really don't like milk in the ice cube trays.

ElfLord boosted

This weekend I'm going to a cabin with friends. Should be a pretty wild party. Which of the following should I do?

ElfLord boosted

There should be an app that's the uber of drugs. Just my opinion.

ElfLord boosted

It turns out buying cocaine is easier than literally anything else

Is there any software you like, or is it all shit?

ElfLord boosted

remember when your teeth would fall out and people would be stoked

Oh shit, hold on, my trap phone's going off.

ElfLord boosted

goodnight everybody, don't think about mr. mime scuttling towards you on all fours

"I don't do it for the 'gram, I do it for the fans."

Is this anything?

So did they, (the scientists) ever figure out space or...?

ElfLord boosted
ElfLord boosted

i have far too many baby diapers it's kind of giving me an ego 😶

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