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ElfLord boosted

I simply believe that the vast majority of machops are butch lesbians

It's Saturday. Soon enough, it'll be Sunday. And then after that, maybe Monday...

Remember those things at the fair where you throw an oversized baseball at a button and it makes the person in the water tank fall into the water and drown?

I'm here. I'm here, and ready to start filming my brand new TV show: Dunk the Dog. Tonight's special guest is @finn!

ElfLord boosted

the only reason I'd like a wife at this moment is so I could ask her for a tray of deviled eggs

ElfLord boosted
ElfLord boosted

feel like i’ve been saying a lot of weird things lately. sorry! i know that birds can’t get gonorrhea

ElfLord boosted

this website is not free, it comes with immense emotional and mental costs

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ElfLord boosted

hey sport, hows your mom? she seeing anyone these days?

I’m here. I’m here, and I’m ready to clog up the internet with more shit.

I’m having a great time on here tonight, everyone.

ElfLord boosted
ElfLord boosted

pressing my bare ass up to a chainlink fence to create amusing squares

ElfLord boosted
ElfLord boosted

"i am going to wear FLIP-FLOPS and SHORTS if it KILLS ME" - all british people, right now

ElfLord boosted

british people beating each other to death with a portable barbecue to get at the last packet of frozen hotdogs

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ElfLord boosted

british people causing multiple car crashes as the sun reflects off everybody's incredibly white and reflective legs

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ElfLord boosted

you'd think we'd have come up with other names for tuesdays by now

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