Show newer
ElfLord boosted
ElfLord boosted
ElfLord boosted

(unscrews my head like a lightbulb and punts it into the horizon)

ElfLord boosted

Currently listening to SZA's entire discography right now and I'm super impressed with her.

ElfLord boosted

HEY IS THE CONFERENCE ROOM OPEN AT 10:30
LET'S TOUCH BASE IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM
LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU'RE AVAILABLE SO WE CAN TOUCH BASE
IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM
AT 10:30

Show thread
ElfLord boosted

Yeah, in a battle for your life, just use sand attack over and over again. Make the battle as long as possible.

The toilet can, and will, catch on fire.

ElfLord boosted

Welcome to the least-blocked account on octodon dot social

ElfLord boosted

i am not old enough to have taken part in the JFK assassination, and i wish people would stop implying it's even a possibility

ElfLord boosted

i am not a "god fearing" person. you know what i fear? outerspace, and jellyfish, and maybe dying alone

ElfLord boosted

they invented video games in the 70s so people would have something to do other than drink and drive

ElfLord boosted

My partner just called elon musk's child a Musket.

ElfLord boosted

I'm so sikc of the ABSOLUTE SICKOS on tbis site! Burn it down!!

ElfLord boosted
ElfLord boosted

@technoid_ 7/11 is always violating HIPAA. they're like, "are you drunk, sir?" that's a HIPAA

Every time I make a redstone contraption in minecraft, there is about a good 50% chance it will work.

ElfLord boosted

showing up at a random frat house and saying, "hey fuckos, try paddling this ass". give it a shot, Bradley

ElfLord boosted

this shit is sexist. the guy volleyball players are basically wearing parkas, instead of reenacting that Top Gun scene. every olympian should be half-naked and oiled up. it's the summer olympics. these are the hottest people on the planet. fucking act like it

Show thread
Show older
freedom.horse

The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!