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I need someone to be my friend... maybe send me an angel.

The horniest angel you have.

Yes, again. I am not even recycling a joke, the initials are too similar.

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It has been 0 days since I last misread UTC as UST.

Z: What happens if you turn an acorn squash into a jack-o-lantern?
M: Oh no
Z: It becomes an ACHIN' SQUASH
M: w h a t

i want to tell heather flowers i convinced my gf to play meatpunks

tumblr self xpost, dnd 

My housemate, the creator of “Elfis Prestley”, the fucking elf bard with bagpipes, and my other housemate’s mtg-flavoured partner are joining in my dnd shenanigans.

There was a piece of short fiction published on the internet about a vampire who was stuck, plastered underneath a bridge, because moving any closer or further away from the object of his obsession were both equally intolerable.

Anyway, I really want to reread it. I’ve been using my memory/recollection of the story, and some of the imagery within, as an unusually good metaphor for addiction - but that was years ago, and I wonder if it holds up.

If this rings any bells for you, let me know.

I usually try not to change my avatar and nic at the same time, even if my url is the same. But it's been a weird day, so you should know that I "Jorts Horse (With Issues)" with the bitch juice pride avatar is still the Zohel (and empress) you love.

I showed my crocheting housemate what a tardigrade looks like, and they're willing to take on my tardigrade commission after their current project is done! :D

Thanks to fedi voting, it'll be 1/3 tan and 2/3 hot pink.

caps, big flat 

(POINTS) THAT'S A GOOD, HAPPY RODENT

BIG FLAT

I appreciate having a housemate with a reciprocal meowing relationship.

She meows, I nya back. I nya, she meows back.

at this rate the tardigrade is going to be 50% tan and 50% hot pink, can we get someone else to vote here

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A: Ah, there's the thyme and sage-
Z: Take me down to Scarborough fair, parsley, sage, rosemary and thyyyyme-
A: Is that a real song?
Z: Of course it is!
Z: I don't make up THAT many songs!

I like both Gaunter's folk song and Geralt's drinking song.

The tonal whiplash from my brain looping from one into the other, however...

so my housemate is crocheting a trans pride gecko on commission (i gave the good gec lots of littl kisses)

and im about to commission them to crochet me a littl tardigrade, so do i want it in

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