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#introductions finally 

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mundane, one star 

anyways time to take yet another rest break, good luck human bodies of the world

i swear this year has involved way too many new injuries. i need to stand in the kitchen and cook food for myself but good-ass luck with that one, body

cane hand: hey wouldn't it be cool if i got mysteriously painful and bruised?

other hand within 24 hours: haha check this out *burns everloving shit out of itself in kitchen*

brain: i need to speak to the manager

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Every so often I just sing out "Biiiilly Sheeeeears" in the hope that I can summon him

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So. Is everybody ready for halloween? ha ha How about the upcoming weekend? Man, the weather is great today. Ok, enjoy the sunshine! Have a good one! I'm going home to take a bath in pig's blood. See you Monday!

today i was walking without my cane, accidentally stepped on it while cleaning, and now have to use it. Cane of self reinforcement

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In the future paper will be obsolete. If you want to read the news you can simply buy a plasma screen to read it off and then throw it in a landfill once you've finished

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I would like to nominate blankets for Invention of the Millennium

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happy international womans day my period tracker tried to get me to like some celebratory thing but what women really need is to be left alone

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