what does it mean when you have a fortune cookie but accidentally tear the paper before you can read it?

Jason boosted

them: Guess what
me. What?
them: No you have to guess.
me: I am significantly less curious suddenly

Jason boosted

I wish I'd been a child prodigy but then I would have to go to college to be a doctor at like, 10 years old. Fuck that.

If I had clicked allow on every single website that ever wanted to send me notifications, I wonder how many notifications per second I would be getting by now

CBD stands for Country, Blues and Dubstep

Jason boosted

I'm thinking about going to a gaming convention, like Origins, BGG.con, PAX Unplugged. I'm a bit out of the loop these days though. What's the best one? Does anyone have a recommendation?

Jason boosted
Jason boosted

OH NO! CARMEN SANDIEGO HAS STOLEN YOUR boyfriend!

Jason boosted

🔄 IT IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TO ME THAT EVERYONE KNOWS THERE IS A TINY PONY WITH A PINK MANE RUNNING WILD ON AN ISLAND IN MONTREAL AND NO ONE KNOWS HOW IT GOT THERE AND THEY CAN'T CATCH IT ctv.news/enIcrHe

- @Lussenpop@twitter.com · twitter.com/Lussenpop/status/1

🐘

Jason boosted
Jason boosted

I will never stop calling them Testificates. They're not villagers until there are dialouge options.

Jason boosted

knuck tats:

GOOD PALS
HAND HAND
BUTT LIFE
HAVE FOUR ARMS BOAT
VOTE 4ME?
KISS NUTS

Jason boosted

ever notice a byte has 8 bits, and a cube has 8 corners? #timecube

Jason boosted

Remember the Cask of Amontillado meme? No? Well I've saved a few on my hard drive down in my basement, which I'm happy to show you, but it is quite drafty down there, we wouldn't want you to catch a cold, and surely you have other engagements to attend to,

Jason boosted
Jason boosted

Tim Burton bolts upright in his bed in the wee hours of April 5, 2019, sweat forming at his brow. He reaches for the notebook at his bedside and frantically begins to write before the muse leaves him: "a dark yet whimsical tale... with a Danny Elfman score... starring Helena Bonham Carter." He sighs with relief. The lightning bottled, he drifts off again into an easy, untroubled rest.

Jason boosted

MATH TEST: math always has been, and always will be, math was here before you, the Earth, and all of the universe and it will remain after it is all gone.
ME:
MATH TEST: these eldritch runes are but poor translations of the universal language, the axiomatic foundation of all of reality and unreality
ME:

For the past week or so, I've been waking up to hear the mating drums of a local woodpecker. I love it!
*bdrrrrrrt ba-da-dat ba-dat*

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