Pinned toot

gonna start a Poirot meme craze if it's the last thing I do

I found the first page of the new novel by that salty-ass author who brags about being invited to mensa when you give him a negative review and refuses to publish ebooks because they don't support the "right fonts"

sorry for crude tootin', i have just had this very mature song parody stuck in my head all morning and had to share it with you, the six ppl who follow me

oooh yeah. life goes on. long after the thrill of jackin' your dong

you best get talkin, see, before i turn your face into an oven mitt

This ad I just got served on facebook sounds like a threat from a 1940's mobster movie

just ran across a site that apparently has nested relative units in its comments section's stylesheet, so any thread that gets long enough turns into something unintentionally horrifying

serious question: has ANYBODY out there even been like 'man, i sure which i could fold my cell phone in half?"

cuz i'm feeling like the answer here is "no"

lol ppl are criticizing a tv show that took over ten years to come to any sort of conclusion, based on an unfinished book series that took over 4,000 pages to do the same, for "suddenly" having "sloppy writing"

fandoms are the absolute worst

last episode of game of thrones is just gonna be a long tracking shot of arya riding a horse for 89 minutes until the last twenty seconds where there's a sudden cut to the boom-boom room and nine inch nails is playing for some reason

* dragon slowly turns towards the camera *

"aaaaaactually, while we appreciate your passion and continued viewership, we really disagree with the notion that your fandom allows you direct creative input over the on-screen product"

* breathes fire all over san diego comic-con *

boomers playing blues about cryptocurrency is my new personal aesthetic

hell yeah i'm a political activist, every night i log onto fortnite and yell at twelve year olds about bernie sanders

a cool thing about being an anxious person who also has the internet is that you can get razor burn and instantly convince yourself that you're dying of the measels

vampire weekend guy hears about the royal baby's name and sighs quietly as he crosses out a line in a notebook labelled "potential song titles"

i just read a user review of an indie game made by one person who spent over a year on it. the game is $10. the review referred to the "price point" as "ridiculous" and said that "spending longer on a game doesn't make it worth more"

i bet this same person complains about AAA games on the reguar and doesn't feel remotely weird about it

a good way to carbon date a thinkpiece about music is a method i like to call the "does it mention Major Lazer?" test

* dukes of hazzard music *

well, looks like those ol' bitcoin boys are exit-scammin' again

"just tell me what font to pick (when i'm making websites for kids)" is definitely my new favorite song

don't mind me i'll just be over here watching old episodes of super sloppy double dare on VHS and yelling out the answers like a brain genius

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Get things off your chest. Share your secrets with strangers. Scream into the abyss. Tell filthy jokes. Make a joke at all. <3