snake boy 🐍 @maggotboy@freedom.horse

sure socialism is great and it's nice to not have brands here but once I can I'll be introducing 'snake boy +™' for all my premium members only toots

Young Sheldon is so good they should make a show about when he grows up, they could call it: 'Old Sheldon'

if anyone ever needs to contact me outside of mastodon DM me for my xfire account

showing up at any and all protests waving a placard that says "Tracer Tong did nothing wrong"

got in a fist fight with my wife's doula so I'm just gonna take her to the vet to give birth instead

I emerged from the womb with a shitty, patchy beard and it's been perfectly preserved for 26 years now

Mastodon tip: if you wake up early uk time start posting quick cos everyone fucks off real soon

*waking up in a bed covered in garlic cloves and red onions*
Whoah what a wild night last night, what even happened?

just had a vivid flashback to secondary school when a catholic youth group came to our school to do some fun skits about religion and incorporated "am i bothered" and Little Britain catch phrases to appeal to us kids. Didn't want this memory

love it when i'm watching a documentary and they play ominous droning horror music when they talk about somebody that's completely evil. That way I know not to like the person that's completely evil, thanks