It's fun to call people nonces. Go call your local priest a nonce, you're probably right anyway so it's fine

Please follow me at @snakeboy that's where my posts are now, they're good I swear

trying out another instance so please follow @snakeboy for more of my bullshit

lifehack: pour some milk into your bowl of cereal for the classic "breakfast" taste

replace the bases in baseball with boxes of pizza so the players get cheese and sauce all over their clothes when they slide in. i don't think it will help the game, but it will be very funny.

Every time I sit on the toilet I'm reminded I'm a dumbass and it keeps me humble

Gamer wife sleeping next to u, hsnd in hand... u feel her fingers doing the movements theyre accustomed to onthe keyboard... first the left side, wasd, then typing out slurs...

Picture to confirm this is real. I meant to get it touched up but never did, you get pretty attached to stuff that's permanently on your skin

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It's a good thing no one ever recognises my invader zim tattoo because I'm not sure I've actually watched it since I got it when I was 18

Is tusky shit now or is it my phone? Can't even look at my own profile without it crashing

I only smoke weed so I can harvest that sweet sweet resin. That's black gold, baby

Making a nest for myself out of discarded letters from debt collection agencies

when people say eating food goes straight to their thighs they're showing off, yes?

oh you can "binge" on netflix but i can't "binge" on alcohol, double standards much?

who is the real April fool? the person who is lied to and misled? or the thousands who have not yet claimed their missold PPI

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