snake boy 🐍 @maggotboy@freedom.horse

when the moon
hits your eye
you're too close
to the moon

Talked Bernie into my proposal that Valve has to send everyone all the games they bought on Steam in those old big retail boxes

Knuckle Tats:
Oooh Nooo

Born to be mild

assflash newshole!!

Hell yeah. I woke up early but then I remembered George HW Bush is dead

Here's a cheeky train selfie of me in my favourite hat too since I'm becoming vain lately. Validate me

How did the cum cross the street?

I put on the wrong sock this morning

do you eat your pringles with or without the crust

What if crabs were called crubs? What then?

opening the hatch in the back of my head and carefully replacing my thinky meat with a small tub of cottage cheese

@selontheweb
once some friends and I in high school took an impromptu trip to Miami. we passed by the shore where some boulders had been piled up on the shore for whatever reason they do that kind of thing, and i, looking out the window, said “boulders are just like really big sand” and my friend lost his mind he was laughing so hard

mastodon marriage proposal: "cw sincere"

Still mad that no games required you to spin the Wii Nunchuck around like a Real Weapon

It's called body odor, sweaty

when's the superbowl happening, i need to know so i can schedule a post about how i don't care about the superbowl

Muting the words "Fortnite" and "TikTok" because I misunderstand and hate young people