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Conservatives are not allowed to read my jokes. Liberals can read my jokes only if they pay me money. Communists, laugh any time for free please.

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Not to get too political but whenever I feel like relaxing and getting a little moderate I just look at this inspirational photo and all I can see are guillotines.

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It's a shame that libertarians thirsting for Q drops have ruined conspiracy theories because looking at grainy videos for UFOs is good clean fun.

I had one of these as a kid and if I found one today I would push over a stroller to grab it.

mny name is linus computer. if you run window i hate you

a game boy camera rigged up to a telescope to get some wicked moon pics 2001 style

I’ve listen to some songs by The Beach Boys and I think I understand why boomers are sociopaths.

I cannot explain why, but Harvey Keitel can be the punchline to any joke and it always works for me.

LA teachers' strike settlement Show more

tech Show more

I’ve been waiting all day to go running and the rain was supposed to stop by now and it’s not stopping. Bring me the head of Al Roker.

Contraceptive Pill - The Pope Show more

imagine having to tip your waiter because their employer doesn't even pay them


I especially enjoy takes that she uses Twitter and Instagram, which is bad, ignoring that every single congressperson has at least one Twitter and Instagram account, usually more than one. And ignoring that it’s still in the news every day about how the President won the election partially by gaming social media.

It’s almost as if they’re jealous that she’s good at online and perhaps they just disagree with her politics but are too cowardly to say so. ‪¯\_(ツ)_/¯‬

If you have never won an election you get to write op-eds telling Ocasio (who has won an election) how to do politics.

a fun activity when you're visiting Germany is to go to an antifa protest and join any group chanting "Ihr habt den Krieg verloren" ("You've lost the war") at the fash. drives them completely nuts.

racism, labor struggle Show more

*walks into a Guitar Center* I need a guitar that’s good for annoying my wife.

a metro system with no ads, every train car has liveries designed by a local artist and the arrival/departure jingles composed by local musicians

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This is a place to go when you want FREEDOM.

Get things off your chest. Share your secrets with strangers. Scream into the abyss. Tell filthy jokes. Make a joke at all. <3