Pinned toot

PLEASE know that I sincerely do want to follow EVERYONE back but I get anxiety and am easily overwhelmed on social media...

so i made a self-care rule that i will only follow back folks that i know / have met in real life (with a tiny handful of exceptions), so let's meet IRL! (it's more fun anyway)

thank you for being understanding <3

Pinned toot

oops 500 char #intro Show more

Pinned toot

*slides all the clutter off the table and onto the floor* I cleared a spot for you.

Hey guys guess what I was just given the Nobel Peace Prize!

One time I told @toilettrouble salad is gross and he insulted me by saying, "It's an acquired taste. It's an adult taste."

Yeah I'm HORNY

H ave not had sex
O nly played Minecraft
R eally love Minecraft
N o sex
Y es Minecraft

#ff for the good post gang. In no particular order but sort of grouped according to themes in ways that will probably only make sense to me
@ElfLord the Lord of elves, Empress of freedom.horse
@toilettrouble scheming viscount of freedom.horse
@maggotboy Snake Boy, the boy who is a snake
@64pinecones the 64th pinecone is the juiciest one
(The theme of this one may have been a little easier to guess than I thought)

the year is 2069. "second base" is now watersports.

Big Pants are back and they're badder than ever!

I missed 666 followers. It's ok though. I'm not complaining. 668 is amazing I can't believe I fooled 668 people and bots into following me.

i rotate my ass toward you and fire out an egg in your direction. you catch it gently in your wooden spoon and that's what field day is. i hope you're excited, honey

@toilettrouble
I don't like no flying car
I don't like no space food
The only nasty thing I like
Is a nasty groove

No, my first name ain't baby
It's Jane, Miss Jetson if you're nasty

"Piss happens!" i shout, tripping and falling into The Void for eternity

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freedom.horse

This is a place to go when you want FREEDOM.

Get things off your chest. Share your secrets with strangers. Scream into the abyss. Tell filthy jokes. Make a joke at all. <3