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PLEASE know that I sincerely do want to follow EVERYONE back but I get anxiety and am easily overwhelmed on social media...

so i made a self-care rule that i will only follow back folks that i know / have met in real life (with a tiny handful of exceptions), so let's meet IRL! (it's more fun anyway)

thank you for being understanding <3

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nobody in this public restroom wants a free hug no matter how much i scream and holler

the saddest thing i ever read on a menu was boneless lamb :(

i said "shit" in a company-wide meeting and they gave me a million dollar raise

My books came in the mail. One book is about science, one's about literature, one's about shakespeare, etc.

When telling me the time, just say it normal. Say, "It's 4." Don't say, "It's half past 4." Don't make me do school.

I'm listening to "This Gun's For Hire..." by Bruce Springsteen.

"Please leave me and my poor family alone!" i scream at every pop-up ad in my browser, but they keep coming, faster than i can close them

Not many people know it but if you huff vinegar it gets you super high

anything can be a toilet. a child's college fund, for example

O HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN i slur belligerently, tripping over a potted plant and landing face-first in a toilet bowl full of fresh turds

The old lady throwing the necklace into the ocean at the end of Titanic except it's her iPhone.

Not enough symphonies have been written about puking blood

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This is a place to go when you want FREEDOM.

Get things off your chest. Share your secrets with strangers. Scream into the abyss. Tell filthy jokes. Make a joke at all. <3