"I tried leaving Facebook. I couldn’t" by Sarah Jeong https://www.theverge.com/2018/4/28/17293056/facebook-deletefacebook-social-network-monopoly
Great read, and this comment in a thread by her also hits home for me: https://twitter.com/sarahjeong/status/990974005162094599
@nolan it's interesting to see how other people engage with leaving social media. I felt like a weight was lifted when I left a few years back. I feel like people are experiencing an anxiety of disconnection with social media, but they are rationalizing it as something else (because disconnection is tricky to talk about). I wonder at the depth of a friendship when not using a particular app jeopardizes it.
@nolan yeah, i think maintaining social relationships is a skill that men just aren't expected to learn, because boys are taught that their moms will take care of everything, and girls are taught to take care of boys... at least in a wide brushstroke look at western culture
i feel like social relationships should be maintained organically though... it's impossible to be deeply connected to more than a handful of people; we just don't have enough time or emotional energy to cultivate that depth
@nolan Like, I wanna send a Christmas card because I'm inspired and excited to wish my friends and family a merry Christmas, not because of a social, cultural obligation to do so. So maybe it means having small, tight-knit friend groups where you don't send a card because you are all hanging out together for every holiday already.
I wonder also if people are scared to admit just how dependent on it they really are
@nolan
@jerry @nolan In my personal experience people LOVE admitting how addicted to Facebook they are.... it's like caffeine; there's a positive cultural regard around dependency. I agree that fear is still there, but I'm wondering if it might be a fear of loneliness/disconnection... that's certainly what it was for me. Maybe we are both saying the same things, actually.
@toilettrouble It felt like a weight was lifted for me as well, although I admit it's harder to keep up with family and close friends now that I'm off Facebook. (And thus those friends became less close…)
But I think the author is right that the blame falls partly on my shoulders since I (like many men) don't put much work into maintaining social relationships. I have never written a Christmas card.